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Tuesday, July 24, 2007

Edible Dogs

So I have a good friend, many of you know her, that is absolutely obsessed with hot dogs. I find this kind of funny because I’ve known her for a few years now and I never really knew just how deep she was into her obsession. I thought that I knew her a little better than this. My bad. Learn something new everyday. Here is another thing that I learned, apparently I have a bit of a hot dog obsession my self. Maybe I’ll call it more of a fascination for a good hot dog than an obsession. Either way, there can be no denying the occasional urge for a good dog. When it strikes, there is no way to avoid it. I’ve tried. The craving will haunt me until I eventually succumb. My dog of choice will always be this-un. I find comfort in the thought that Kosher means Kosher.
Every once and a while, I will find myself in a pickle of a craving and unable to get to my trusted dog. For example sometimes I go to the fridge and find something sub par like those Oscar Meyer Cheese filled franks.

(Katie’s favorite) Barf!!! For some reason, they just sick me out. But she likes them so whatever. Now, the point that I’m making is that when I need a hot dog, I’ll even bring myself so low as to eat one of those mystery meat, mystery cheese? things that they call a hot dog. My head is lowered in shame. Please forgive me. Before I stop rambling, I want to make clear that there is one place and one place only that it will forever be acceptable to eat a nasty hot dog and have it taste like the best thing to ever have crossed your lips. You all know this well, it’s the dog that you pick up at a ball park with a bunch of good friends. It’s the place where you may no longer feel ashamed to indulge in a sick little pleasure and feel no embarrassment. I’ve decided that this reason, and this reason alone is why baseball is so popular. No one in their right mind would go to a game and subject themselves to such a long and slow torture unless the food somehow made it worth it. Isn’t that really what being American is all about, finding a legit reason for unhealthy food? Sounds good to me.
The End

4 comments:

Gretchen said...

D, I'm so glad to have a brother in crime! And you're right Hot Dogs at the ballpark is really the only reason to subject yourself to baseball. OH i DO love a hot dog at a baseball game!

If Katie likes the cheese filled ones, I might be tempted to give it a try. (I'll probably like it - I usually like anything that's been processed with cheese. Even though I feel slightly nauseous that I liked it.) I'll let you know if you should feel above-and-beyond amounts of shame.

Off topic - responding to your comment about me judging people by their grammar. I'm a very easy judge. I'll notice, but it usually doesn't change my opinion of people unless it's super pretentious or so bad it's incomprehensible. You do just fine! Besides, your coolness overrules any verbal slip ups.

erin said...

yep, baseball sucks unless it involves about 50 grams of trans fat. i read something recently about hot dogs not being as mysterious as they once were, but i don't care. we eat them all the time. in fact, i just put one in chuck's lunch today. yum.

BrookStina said...

Hey, baseball ain't so bad. But hotdogs are. Gross. Gross I say. Also how come you never write?

KuhnieClan said...

I have decided to weigh-in here. I think there really is only 1 hotdog worth eating outside of a baseball park. I am on board with the cheese filled Oscar Mayer. See Katie, we do have something in common afterall besides our love of Canasta, (though I know we have differing rules and strategies).

Throw that doggie in a Martin's Potaoe Roll, spank that dog with some mustard and call me GTG.

And yes, your worst fear has been realized, I have just posted on your blog!!!